Why do they write? How do they start?

Every time when I assigned a writing task to my Chinese college students, I would always be responded by their knotted brows, distorted faces written with agony.

Yes, as a teacher, I need to do my job, that is, I need to give writing tasks to my students and provide them more opportunities to practice it. And my poor students have to write, no matter how poor their English was, because I, their English teacher, asked them to; and they needed me, the reader, to give them feedback and to check how well they could write and what they were lacking of. They, themselves, also realized this need, the need to write, then why were they still so painful?

Bitzer mentioned that “rhetorical discourse comes into existence as a response to situation”, and that “a rhetorical situation must exist as a necessary condition of rhetorical discourse” (p.5-6). The driven power, or the situation for the students to write something rhetorical is very clear – my request and their need to improve their English. However, is this simple request adequate or strong enough to stimulate them to do some nice writing?

Why were they always reluctant to write in English? Is it because that they are not very good at English and that they are embarrassed by the mistakes they might make? But without practices, how could they be fluent in writing in English language? Are they ready? Have I prepared them to be ready for the topic I assigned?

According to Edbauer’s article about rhetorical ecology, “knowledge involved in writing depends on activities and communications shared in interaction not only among people but also interactions between people and various structures in the environment…” (p. 8) Have I provided them the opportunity to talk to their peers first to help generate the elements of their writing pieces? Time is changing. Did I assign them the topics that closely related to their social life and studies that they had more to say about? Have I given them the freedom to write for the audience other than me? Have I thought of allowing them to receive the feedback from and interact with other potential audiences?

Having thought of the above, I think I sort of understand my students a bit more…

When is the best time to write?

After I finished reading Boice’s two articles, I couldn’t help asking myself: “How often would I really try to write an article or a paper without the pressure from a deadline?” and “Why would I always wait till the last minute to write up my paper?”

I’ve asked many other friends, and it seems that being the “last-minute-writer” is not my patent – they also, and always put them into the same situation.

Countless paper deadlines and endless paper writing follow after I made my decision to pursue my doctoral degree in the U.S. Every time, the requirements and the deadline were well explained and we were informed long enough before the paper should be submitted, but still, I will repeat the cycle of panicking; waiting, waiting for a long time; hesitating to write; attempting to start; writing till exhausted; finishing writing; and experiencing the extreme excitement till thrill with trembling hands…

Every time, I would blame myself harshly for not having starting writing earlier, and regret for the unnecessary crisis and pressure that I created for myself. However, it seems that once the scar was recovered, I would immediately forget about the pain that I’ve ever tasted, and I would still repeat the cycle over and over again, sticking to my old bad habit.

Why did I always wait for such a long time before I started to write? Why did I always waste so much precious time? Why couldn’t I start a little bit earlier next time? What was I afraid of? What hindered me starting early? Those questions I have asked myself thousand of times, and I have generalized the following reasons:

First of all, it’s my language problem. Writing in a second language is still a big challenge for me. Occasionally, only thinking of this problem would scare me to drop the pen.

Secondly, I was not ready, which I think contributed the most to my writing obstacles. Yes, I was very scared of writing something I didn’t know what to write about. I hadn’t found enough sources, nor had I read adequate materials to form my ideas and organize my thoughts.

Thirdly, my laziness always works. Yes, the thought that “there’s still enough time, so why bother now?” always hoaxed me into the last-minute-writing situation. When I realized how fast time may escape away, it was already too late…

Now the last but not the least, maybe it’s an excuse – I had no inspiration. Sometimes I would comfort myself that inspiration is something very special--it would hide in somewhere when you tried so hard to find it, and would come out suddenly when you least expected, but once it showed up, the pen would seem writing by itself and your time will be doubly saved. So, I was waiting for inspiration.

Why couldn’t I read a lot and get ready while I was still waiting, and hesitating to write? What if inspiration didn’t show up till the last minute? When is the best time to write? Was I waiting to get the best state in writing or was I just waiting to lose my passion and ability to write? Does confidence increase or decrease during the time of waiting? Um…there are a lot of questions…

Exploration

Life is the process of endless exploration.

Everyday we are asking questions, seeking answers, getting confirmations, and asking even more questions.

Everyday, we are exploring the most mysterious world -- the world of language, which is like the deep ocean with countless treasures hidden, to discover ourselves, and to weave our dreams.

What are we going to find?
I am ready and can't wait to start this journey...